Bored on Saturday? (Doughnuts may help)

November 23, 2002 "I want pizza!" "What's wrong with meatloaf?" "Nothing. But I want pizza." "OK." That was the dialog (monolog?) I had myself as I headed for the door. It's 10pm Saturday night, and I'm going to a nearby Food Lion to buy a Freschetta "Sauce-Stuffed Crust" cheese pizza. It's cold outside; fortunately my new 2003 Saturn L300 has heated leather seats. I get the pizza and a quart of skim milk (in a carton, not a jug; milk from a carton tastes better) and go to the only register open. The fellow manning it is wordlessly staring at the two urban-dwellers (U.D.s) in line as one of them goes through self-examining convulsions. "Where'd you put the money at, man?" The other asked. "Dunno, man." "Hurry up," he grumbled, as he jerked a thumb in my direction, "the dude wants to get his stuff." "Uh, maybe it's in the car." The clerk took the bag of doughnuts and un-scanned them as the pair moved along, and he rang up my pizza and milk. As he did, the U.D. exclaimed, "Here it is!" as he dragged a handful of cash out of some nether pocket. He handed him exact change and they headed out. As I followed them, I noticed one was wearing pants whose crotch dangled *below* his knees. I shuddered to think where the waist was, but was spared revelation as he was wearing a trenchcoat that ended halfway down his thighs. As he waddled for the door, he asked his compatriot, "Yo, where we going, man?" The other mumbled something in response as he pulled a cigarette from behind his ear. "What?" "Home, I guess." "It's too early to go home, man." As I got in my car and drove past the facade, the two were leaning against a bicycle rack, eating their doughnuts. I guess they were waiting for something interesting to happen. I'm outta here!